Day 24: Confession

I will admit it,

I was a welfare mother once –

As recently as

Yesterday morning, when I surrendered

My last voucher for bread,

Milk, cereal, cheese to feed my son,

Then swiped away the final dollars that remained

Of this month’s food stamps

To feed us all.

I’ve come to terms with shopping this way –

Painstaking list-making;

Checking and double-checking the glossy brochure

That shows which varieties of cereal are “approved,”

(Wondering why the so-called nutrition program

Condones so much sugar consumption)

Before reaching, yet again, for the plain, boring bran flakes;

Meticulous organization of cart contents, then

Loading everything onto the belt in proper groups by voucher;

Suppressing the flush that rises unbidden

When I hand the cashier

That tell-tale, tattered white card

And he checks the signature

Then steals a glance at the boy

Who is happily swiping the first of three

Methods of payment (none of which we have earned),

Over and over again.

It’s not easy, nor is it fun.

It’s simply necessary.

I am not glad, nor am I proud.

I am simply, deeply, grateful.

Yes, I will admit it –

Yesterday I was a welfare mother.

But tomorrow the first paycheck arrives,

Even more welcome

Than all of those blessed vouchers combined

Because it means we can finally start

Giving back.